When depression has its grip on you, life becomes water. The air around you becomes water, crushing you with its weight and even the simplest tasks become difficult. You feel sluggish, both mentally and physically and nothing can snap you out of it.
Do you know what you're doing? NO YOU DON'T SO PLEASE STOP...
Please do not send me Facebook messages just because I reactivated my account saying hope all is well and enjoy your Thanksgiving.
You see me at work everyday and you don’t say shit, you have my number and can’t call or text, and the last time we texted I told you not to talk to me unless you had the balls to come and discuss the issue face to face.
So I will leave that pointless cowardly message as read and unresponded to so maybe you will take the hint to please act as if I no longer exist because that is what I’m trying to do with you.
It was so easy to love you. When we laid I fit perfectly into your nooks and crannies. We formed into each other, we were one. Your tenderous and understanding ways, the way you looked at me like no one else. I understood and got you like no one before. You were made to fit perfectly into my arms and your lips were made to warm my forehead every night.
But everything is gone now and I wish you would disappear into thin air, I wish you did not exist. The sound of your voice eats me up inside, I use to crave to hear it. I use to think no matter what I would always wish you well in your life. But I can’t, I don’t wish to know about anythhing about you. I want to cut this part out of my life. Remove the utmost highs you gave me to cancel out this drowing low.
“Please don’t take this personal
But you ain’t shit
And you weren’t special
Til I made you so
You better act like you know
That I been through worse than you
I just can’t keep runnin away”—(via staypotent)
Some people talk about being caring but can never show it, that’s what a friend told me and that’s what I learned within you. I showed and gave you all the love I had and never had it returned. Because you are incapable. Maybe you have never felt. Maybe you were never shown. Maybe you were turned cold. Whatever the reason may be you knocked me down and dragged me through the mud, innocently. In such a way I didn’t even know it was happening. I’ve never been so deceived. No one has ever put on such a show quite like you.
You can say but never do.
You can ask but never show.
You can demand accountability and not even blink.
When the monsters come out at night do you just show up to play or are you the leader?
Infliction by deceit, you are crowned KING.
I'm a pisces, I will sear you with my tongue when you cross me
"All that bullshit of 'you're too precious for me to hurt you, I'll always be here for you, Chelsea do you love me' was all nothing/denied as soon as the next opportunity for some pussy came along. Is it that you never felt loved that you pathetically prey on all these girls? Or you must know the monstrous piece of shit you are as sloppy as you do it. I pity you and any girl that’s ever with you. You have so much animosity towards your father and the way you treat people you are just like him. I respect an asshole that’s an asshole from the jump and shows his true colours rather than the cowardice prick you are, you are a hideous human being.”
To be so deceitful for so long, so pointless. To tear somebody down for now reason, so sad.
And I don’t pity myself because this happened, I know heartbreak happens in life, but maybe at least if you would of ever loved me back it would have made it not such a waste of time. I’ll get over this, and I truly feel sorry for what a low life you are and the facade you put on.
My heart races deep with anxiety and my little eyes swell up with salty black tears when I think of how much I care and love you and how much it doesn’t matter because I’m still lowest on your totem pole.